Harry Potter Remake

Today, I finally saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as I did not get around to viewing it when it was in the theaters. Yet again, i was disappointed with all the details that were left out. I know, I know. Whenever we Harry Potter book purists complain about this, I hear the same "Americans do not have the patience to sit through long epic movies the way they did in the fifties anymore" argument and I am sick of hearing it. If millions of people around the world had the patience to read books of seven, eight or nine hundred pages, I think they would be able to understand that the movie that does it justice would also be long. Most of the people reading these books worldwide were teenagers or younger. As a teenager (for a few more months anyway) I know that we have the shortest attention spans in the world AND IF WE GET THIS EXCITED ABOUT A NINE HUNDRED PAGE BOOK, WE WOULD APPRECIATE THAT THE MOVIE PRODUCTION PEOPLE MAKE THE MOVIE WORTH THE EIGHT BUCKS FOR A TICKET OR THIRTY BUCKS FOR A DVD THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS. SO DO IT RIGHT!!!!!

In twenty years or so, I think that Hollywood will realize that they could make more money by remaking these movies and I hope that by then they have the sense to do them the right way. In the current Harry Potter movies, they insisted on exclusively using British actors to make it authentic with the book. If they use some A-List American actors and kept more consistency with the actual books, they would seem more authentic to me. For me, growing up in Massachusetts, I knew the stories were in England but in my mind I pictured Harry, Ron and Hermione boarding a train in Boston and heading to a magical school in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Here are some of my thoughts of the acting roles in the current movies and my ideas of who would better portray the characters.

Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter- He looks exactly like what the Harry on the cover of the books. I get that. Overall, I thought that he has been okay as Harry but far too often it seems that he is not the main character. He seems like the passive one in most of the movies and he just goes with the flow. Ron and Hermione steal Harry's thunder too much. They do a good job, but the name of the series is Harry Potter not The Ron and Hermione Show. If age did not paly into it, I would rather see Edward Norton as Harry.

Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley- I like the way he plays the part. I used to be jealous of Rupert because we are the same age, we are both redheads, and he is rich, famous, and can get any girl he wants just because he was born on the other side of the pond. Ron is hysterical in the movies and makes for a great down-to-Earth sidekick for The Chosen One and Smartypants Granger. As the movies wore on, I realized that he really was the right guy for the job and right now I would not change the casting. As for me, I would happily settle for playing Arthur Weasley in the remake when I'm in my forties (if I live that long).

Emma Watson as Hermione Granger- Right from the first movie, she has fit the part. Not changing this one either.

Richard Harris and Michael Gambon as Albus Dumbledore- I thought Richard Harris was great as Dumbledore in the first two movies. When he passed away and was replaced by Michael Gambon, I did not like the change at first but it grew on me. By The Order of the Phoenix I realized that they needed a darker colder Dumbledore for darker colder times so the casting worked out. When thinking of who I would cast, only one name crossed my mind as an adequate Dumbledore alternative. Regardless of race, nobody can play old men with sage wisdom better than Morgan Freeman. He would be my headmaster and stoic leader of the Order of the Phoenix if it were up to me.

Alan Rickman as Severus Snape- THIS ROLE WAS CAST PERFECTLY. There is nobody in the world who could pull off Snape the way Rickman has. No way. Hands down. End of story.

Gary Oldman as Sirius Black- I really like the way Oldman plays Sirius. Good job casting on that one.

David Thewlis as Remus Lupin- They got this one all wrong. I do not like the portrayal of this character at all. He does not look or act like the Lupin I read about. ANY ACTOR IN THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER FOR THIS PART. Personally, I would pick Christopher Walken because he is supposed to be a good guy with a dark secret and despite his good intentions, his terrifying alter ego can be exposed in his voice. Liam Neeson is another possibility.

Matthew Lewis as Neville Longbottom- When I first began pondering this cast, I thought about hypothetically casting Michael Cera in this role but then I realized that Lewis has done a good job and a change in this role is not really necessary. Cera could work as Neville but there is no use fixing something that is not broken. I would like to see Neville's role expanded, however. It seems that he is a big part of some of the movies but does not do a whole lot in others. Throughout the book series, Neville had been a part of a larger circle of friends along with the other Gryffindors but at times was almost as close to Harry as Ron and Hermione. Ginny was also in a similar spot in the books until she and Harry started "snogging".

Other Alternate Castings:

Julie Andrews as Minerva McGonagall

Al Pacino as Mad Eye Moody

Frank Oz as Dobby and Kreacher (and have their role significantly expanded)

Eric Idle as Professor Flitwick

Samuel L. Jackson as Kingsley Shacklebolt

Willem Dafoe as Rufus Scrimgoer

Kevin Spacey as Cornelius Fudge

Danny Devito as Vernon Dursley

Rhea Perlman as Petunia Dursley

Ozzy Osborne or David Bowie as Lord Voldemort

Wayne Knight as Wormtail

Jane Lynch as Professor Umbridge

Angela Lansbury as Professor Trelawney

Michael Richards as Professor Lockhart

Steve Carell as Professor Quirrel

Christopher Plummer as Igor Karkaroff

James Earl Jones as Aragog

Jeffery Tambor as Horace Slughorn

Russell Crowe as Firenze the Centaur

Gene Wilder as Mr. Ollivander

Christian Bale as Barty Crouch Jr.

Michael Palin as Barty Crouch Sr.

Conan O'Brien as Arthur Weasley

Jack Black as Peeves

Okay that's enough. Some of these casting choices are a little ridiculous but this is a story about wizards and witches and magic. It is allowed to be a little over the top. I imagined the characters talking like Monty Python so this list can't be much more ridiculous than that.

Feel free to comment with your own ideas for the different characters. I want to make sure that we, as a human race, get this right the next time around because otherwise future generations will not be able to appreciate this story once books become obsolete.

Pros and Cons of Time Travel

In movies and books, the concept of time and the significance of the individual is frequently explored. If time travel were possible, it would be interesting to see how much like it is in movies. Does one person's presence (or lack thereof) really make that much of a difference in the world like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life or Marty McFly in Back to the Future? Or will the power of one person have little effect on the outcome of history like Michael Crichton's theory from Timeline? Will the power of time travel be used to save humankind and bring back long extinct species like in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home? Will musicians of the present be inspired by musician from the future (Taylor, it's your cousin, Marvin Swift. Ima let you finish, but listen to this!)? Only time will tell.

As awesome as time travel may seem in movies, it also has it's negative side effects. I learned from the book Timeline that traveling too many times through quantum wormholes can lead to transcription errors where your body parts do not fit back together properly. Nothing could be worse than having your body malfunction on you when you are stuck in the middle ages and they think you are a witch for having six toes or something. Also as awesome as the effects of time travel were for the McFly family in Back to the Future, nobody ever hears Biff's side of the story. It isn't fair that someone else can be so successful and others have to suffer just because they don't have a crazy mad scientist friend (Seriously, why was a guitar playing, skateboarding teenager like Marty McFly hanging around a crazy old guy like Doc Brown in the first place? Hmm.). Once this technology becomes available to the public, there is no telling how many times history will have to be rewritten. Like Dr. Seuss' Sneetches, after a while, nobody will remember how things were before and the world will be in chaos.

The logistics of time travel still needs to be worked out and laws would have to be passed to regulate it once time machines became available to the general public, but the idea of it still seems pretty cool. It is something to think about, but like I said before, only time will tell.

An Ode to Soup

I thoroughly enjoy eating. I probably enjoy eating a little more than I should. One of my favorite things to eat is soup. Soup is one of the greatest innovations in culinary history. It may just be my bias, but I feel that the invention of soup was a more important discovery than that of the sandwich. Soup can have anything in it and truly be anything. Fruit, vegetable or meat, hot or cold, black or white, soup has been embraced by cultures all over the globe. A nice savory soup can be enjoyed as with real New England clams, Louisiana gumbo, a Chinese bird's nest, and nothing goes better with your Italian wedding than Italian wedding soup. Perhaps most exciting of all, you can create the origins of life on Earth with a delectable batch of primordial soup. Similar too Liz Lemon's universal sandwich theory (This is a reference to the comedy series 30 Rock which airs Thursday nights on NBC. I recommend checking it out if haven't yet as it is quite funny.), the soup is one of the few things that brings the entire human race together and if any serious talks of world peace ever take place, I am almost certain that they will be serving soup on the lunch break.

Soup is great anytime. You can have it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Wait a second! Did I just say soup for breakfast?!?! Hear me out on this one. I know. I did a Google image search of "breakfast soup" before writing this. I am aware that the breakfast soup with the soggy French toast in it looks really nasty. If you think about it, though, the things people have for breakfast go well in soups. Eggs: Chinese egg drop soup is very good. It can work. Bacon: Everything tastes good with bacon. Certainly there are soups that have bacon in them. Now we're talking (Well, actually I'm talking. You're listening... I hope.). It could be like a soup-omelet, or a "somelet". The egg and soup liquid are essential but you can add any other toppings you so desire. Spice it up with garlic, onions and peppers, put some cheese in it, now we have a soup you can eat at breakfast that still had the spirit of breakfast but does not compromise the humanity that is the soup.

If you, the reader have any other suggestions or ideas to better the wonder which is the soup, feel free to comment. I would love to hear your ideas.

Change we need, change we want, change we think we need...

Bob Dylan said it best nearly fifty years ago when he said that the times they were a changin', but sometimes the change is misguided or unnecessary. In this case, a major change in Washington will involve more standing in the doorway and blocking up the hall. When Massachusetts voters elected Scott Brown in a special election to replace the prolific Edward Kennedy in the United States Senate, they did just that. Kennedy was an advocate for health care reform which has become a major issue in congress since his death. since the sixties, he had been a vehicle for change in America. Brown, on the other hand, is a major change in the state as he is the first Republican senator from Massachusetts in thirty years and people across the state are excited for the change they want.

Sorry to get all political. I don't particularly enjoy doing this, but I must ask the question: what is the point of celebrating change when it is really just a guy who drives a truck and supports the ideals that transformed the United States from the undisputed global superpower to a bitter global bully with a failing economy and tarnished integrity in their foreign policy? Just a year ago, we were celebrating the inauguration of Barack Obama and his mission get America back on track and now people expect everything to be all fixed after just one year in office? Bush/Cheney (whoever was calling the shots...I'm not really sure) messed up so badly for eight years, that progress could not fix it in one year no matter how good the new president is. Anyway, people got so impatient with things not getting fixed right away that they just elected more of the same to impede further progress.

Again, sorry for the politics. Now that that is out of my system, on to the changing world of entertainment. For generations, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) has been the leader in late night entertainment. From Johnny Carson, to Leno, to Conan, to Belushi, Aykroyd, and all the other legendary cast members of SNL, NBC had always been the channel to watch when nothing else is open and you can't fall asleep. This past week, however, NBC decided that they should make a change by reverting back to more of the same to try and improve ratings. Jay Leno will be coming back to the Tonight Show because his prime time talk show could not compete with boring doctor/cop/lawyer shows that air on other networks at that hour (I'm sorry, but i actually enjoyed having Leno on at 10. It was refreshing for me because I do not really care for doctor/cop/lawyer type shows. I watch TV to laugh. If I wanted drama and suspense, there are movies that can provide it in much better quality and less predictability. Whatever. I guess I am not the typical viewer.) As a result, my boy Conan O'Brien (we redheads need to stick together) is getting kicked out of a show and a contract that NBC promised him five years ago. The network is siting that the Tonight Show dropped in ratings to Dave Letterman's show but if Letterman didn't cheat on his wife and make a big deal about it, that may not have happened.

Both of these issues are inferior in relevance compared to the disaster that occurred in Haiti. In the long run, one senate seat and one late night talk show on a dying medium of entertainment is not as big of a deal as the thousands upon thousands of deaths and injuries in that poor country. People need to act quickly to help get relief to these people before it is too late.

Whether it is the change we need like relief in Haiti, the change we want like a Republican senator from Massachusetts, or the change we think we want like vintage car collectors with big chins cracking wise late at night just like the old days, the times are and will change. Mr. Dylan was right about that one. Sometimes it is out of our control, like earthquakes. Sometimes votes and TV ratings make the difference. Just remember that for every "necessary" change that we decide on, somewhere, somehow, a redhead is getting the short end of the stick as a result.

Sunday Afternoon Couch Voyage

Today, I spent most of my afternoon watching one of my most guilty pleasures: the NFL playoffs. I am a geek, but something about football really fascinates me. Every game is like a battle in the long war with the eventual goal of winning the Super Bowl. There is good versus evil, complex story lines and plot twists and an intrepid, adventurous leader captaining his rag tag diverse ship of teammates. His name is Brett Favre and his shipmates call themselves Vikings rather than space explorers but he, like Captain Kirk, is also trying to boldly go where no man has gone before: to raise a championship trophy as a forty year old quarterback.

On the other sideline, there was the Dallas Cowboys--a franchise that earned the title of "America's Team" many decades ago but had since fallen into mediocrity after going thirteen years without winning a playoff game. Before last week, their last playoff victory came at a time when they were perennial contenders led by three stars who were nicknamed after another group of legendary figures: "The Holy Trinity."

Could Brett Favre and his crew ward off the Klingons long enough to see another week of TV? Or would they have to retreat back to base, lick their wounds, and regroup for the next season? Would it be the last season for their captain before Picard takes over the "next generation" of football? In the words of the great gridiron philosopher Chris Berman, "That's why they play the game."

The game plays out, Brett Tiberius Kirk is fired up and uses his emotional intensity to motivate his teammates in the early going. Vikings head coach Brad Childress is the stoic advisor to the captain on the field. He reminds Brett that throwing an interception would be illogical. In the end, the defensive engines powered by Jared "Scotty" Allen turn out have too much power for the Klingons to take. Swashbuckling recievers like Sidney "Sulu" Rice continue to snipe into the end zone.

In the end, the battle is clearly won by Team Kirk. Good luck next year, Klingons. But unlike the real Captain Kirk, Brett Favre does not spare the Gorn in the end of the Arena battle. He lets his emotions get to him and adds another touchdown in the end to disprove all the naysayers who thought he was too old to run a football team. Some call it running up the score, or adding insult to injury, but some just call it life. If you can't stand getting beat up when you're down, don't fall in the first place. Brett's ship lives to fight another day, but will his next mission be his last? That's why they play the game.